Obon

With the month of July and summer in full swing we find time to relax and enjoy time off from work and/or school.  Summer is also a time for families to come together to vacation together.  It is a time for family reunions.  Whenever we are with family we cannot help but to be reminded of our past family members who cannot be with us this summer.

No matter how much time has gone by after the passing of a loved one, there is still emptiness in our lives that can never by filled.  We still want to do something for our loved ones, but we cannot, we feel helpless.  There are many things we wish we could say to them, but we cannot, and we feel helpless.  And although we like to tell ourselves that we have no regrets, there are still things we wish we could have done, or there are things we wish we could have said.  We feel helpless, and this is very natural for us.

Now that we have experienced the loss of a loved one, we must find other ways to express our love and concern, we must find other ways to express our gratitude for all we have received.  How can we do this?  On such matters again we are very helpless.

I recall one summer when it was a beautiful day, and children were outside playing on the temple grounds. All the children were having a great time, including our son.  When the day ended for us and we had to leave he was sad and wanted to stay and continue playing.  He grumbled and cried, wanting to stay and play with the other children.  I remember watching him cry and truly feeling helpless.  What can I do?

The next day he woke up and he was fine.  I mentioned this to my wife, and she said, “He is fine, your are the one that is still worried, concerned and wigged out.”  I realized that she was right, he was fine, it was me who felt helpless.  I needed to do something about my anxiety.

The story of Obon is the story of a mother and her son. The mother had died, and the son Mogallana felt great anxiety over the passing of his mother.  He worried about where she was and what had happened to her after she died.  Mogallana consulted with the Buddha who told him that there is nothing you can do in your power to help your mother.  Hold a memorial for her, make offerings in her memory and hold a feast in her memory.  

By holding the memorial Mogallana was reminded of her ongoing influence on his life.  He honored her and expressed his gratitude to her with the offerings and a feast.   Shakyamuni wisely counseled Mogallana saying to him that your mother did all she could for you, and you should be grateful, but NOW is an opportunity to express and do all that we were not able to do before.  NOW is an opportunity to say and do all those things we wish we could. 

After performing a memorial, making offerings and holding a feast in memory of his mother, Mogallana no longer felt anxiety and felt freedom that made him dance for joy. 

As I was wisely counseled by my wife, I came to the realization that our son was okay.  In a similar way, our loved ones are okay, we are the ones filled with anxiety. What can we do?

We can honor our family members. We have this time for our family members, and we have lanterns lite as reminder of the light that shines from the Boundless Life of our loved ones. That light is a reminder of what we have received and how their lives continue to take effect upon us.

Through the calling of Amida Buddha’s name “Namoamidabutsu”, we can express all those thoughts, all those words, all those actions and deeds we wish to bestow upon them.

Obon is a time when we are reminded of what we have received and continue to receive from our family members who have returned to the Pure Land.  It is a time to express all that we wish to say, all that we wish to do. Therefore, it is a time of great joy and an opportunity to celebrate our lives that are deeply connected to our past.

Namoamidabutsu,

Rev. Hosei Shinseki